Ok - so this is madness. It is 1.30am on Thursday 27 September 2012 and I have insomnia. Not because I don't want to sleep...I SO do...but because there are 92, 628 random thoughts running through my head. My life at the moment is like one long black and white movie. There are mad antics. There are people flailing in the picture behind me. There are 'figurative' dogs bouncing around the picture and through it all there is no sound. Yip - my black and white move life is chaotic and I am going deaf from listening to it all at once that it might as well be silence.
In no particular order these are what is keeping me from sleeping this minute....brace yourself, this is like a steady stream of mind f&*% right about now....
"I need to think how I am going to deploy this training to 10000 people by June 2013....how do I get 200 people trained up as a trainers across 4 timezones....fark it I forgot to check if there are seats on the 20th for my flight back from SA....I need to be at Holly and Nick's wedding...how the hell am I going to do this...shuz bucket - what happens if Junior is not a him....but a her...no man, I am so sure it is a him...I hope it's a him, I don't know what to do with girls...I want to make mud pies with him and help him ride his bike and catch fireflies and....my gosh I forgot to place the bloody order for those cozzies for the GC team, shit shit shit...will email the lady and check what the options are.....I wonder why the bloody lawyers have not sent my house papers yet, seriously - do they think I have nothing else to do but sit on the phone to South Africa house trying to get an appointment with a Commissioner of Oaths...I will be so jolly happy to see the back of this house, hoping, praying and holding thumbs that everything comes through by beginning of November - c'aman house fairy deliver....oh no - talking about deliver - I need to figure out how to get said house papers back to SA...note to self, send email to lawyers asking for delivery address...where the hell am I going to find a courier place in London - never had to do this....darnation....and Kel's note about her drivers licence tonight has reminded me - I have not contacted the DVLA to change the address on my drivers over here...seriously - complicated.com is my life...I cant believe I photocopied 55 pages of bank statements manually (thanks Natwest your statements do not fit in a copier feeder!) and then the jolly visa place this morning did not need them....eish - goodbye tree for sure....bollocks I now need to go to the post office on the weekend and send back the bloody online shopping I don't like - seriously, G, you need to get this online shopping down pat man - all this returning malarchy is nonsense...." and so it goes on and on and on.
And I wonder why I don't get to sleep....
Not to mention the lifestyle changes that have recently been put in place....I have given up bovine dairy and gluten to see if it helps with my RA....and 10 days in I definitely do feel different, less sluggish. But here's the complication....my new injections that I have to have prevent me from eating anything that has a live culture bacteria in it...like unpasteurised cheese, salmon raw, soft rinded cheeses (think camembert) and BILTONG....so when you say - no bovine dairy...and then you follow that up with nothing unpasteurised...well then dairy my friends is no longer dairy...there is very little non-bovine, pasteurised dairy out there - trust me, I have scanned those shelves like Kit in Knight Rider!! Maybe that is how I can make my millions....
And in between all the manicness you read above, I went out last weekend Saturday with A and K - was great to see them. I ended up spontaneously with them at the Slug in Wimbledon. I peered around each corner carefully, I did not want to see my friend who has disowned me (see post a few weeks back)...this is their haunt. But phew - no sightings were made. But I did end up fighting with the lady behind the bar. Well fighting is probably too string a word. I should say 'swopping strong words'! I ordered whisky. Good old Bells whisky (they have little else that works with my delicate palate!)...and both times she insisted she poured from a new bottle, the whisky had a NASTY tequila tinge to it. Now I used to love tequila at school. And uni. I then I was violently ill on tequila in September 1998 and I have never gone back. The smell makes me retch. Well, A and K can vouch for me - it was tequila flavoured whisky...so I had to resort to Green Ambulance's...when in Rome as they say!
And the quote of the night went to two girls in the bathroom...TRES AMUSANT! One says in her best fake British accent...."Oh I cannot use these bathrooms, there is no toilet paper" to which her best Souff-Efrican friend says "dude, don't worry man, there is plenty of bog roll!!!!"...have you ever!
Have a happy last few days of September people...54 working days for me left this year....feck that means lots more random nights of thoughts like tonight...oh well, I can always self-medicate with tequila! Over and out!
In no particular order these are what is keeping me from sleeping this minute....brace yourself, this is like a steady stream of mind f&*% right about now....
"I need to think how I am going to deploy this training to 10000 people by June 2013....how do I get 200 people trained up as a trainers across 4 timezones....fark it I forgot to check if there are seats on the 20th for my flight back from SA....I need to be at Holly and Nick's wedding...how the hell am I going to do this...shuz bucket - what happens if Junior is not a him....but a her...no man, I am so sure it is a him...I hope it's a him, I don't know what to do with girls...I want to make mud pies with him and help him ride his bike and catch fireflies and....my gosh I forgot to place the bloody order for those cozzies for the GC team, shit shit shit...will email the lady and check what the options are.....I wonder why the bloody lawyers have not sent my house papers yet, seriously - do they think I have nothing else to do but sit on the phone to South Africa house trying to get an appointment with a Commissioner of Oaths...I will be so jolly happy to see the back of this house, hoping, praying and holding thumbs that everything comes through by beginning of November - c'aman house fairy deliver....oh no - talking about deliver - I need to figure out how to get said house papers back to SA...note to self, send email to lawyers asking for delivery address...where the hell am I going to find a courier place in London - never had to do this....darnation....and Kel's note about her drivers licence tonight has reminded me - I have not contacted the DVLA to change the address on my drivers over here...seriously - complicated.com is my life...I cant believe I photocopied 55 pages of bank statements manually (thanks Natwest your statements do not fit in a copier feeder!) and then the jolly visa place this morning did not need them....eish - goodbye tree for sure....bollocks I now need to go to the post office on the weekend and send back the bloody online shopping I don't like - seriously, G, you need to get this online shopping down pat man - all this returning malarchy is nonsense...." and so it goes on and on and on.
And I wonder why I don't get to sleep....
Not to mention the lifestyle changes that have recently been put in place....I have given up bovine dairy and gluten to see if it helps with my RA....and 10 days in I definitely do feel different, less sluggish. But here's the complication....my new injections that I have to have prevent me from eating anything that has a live culture bacteria in it...like unpasteurised cheese, salmon raw, soft rinded cheeses (think camembert) and BILTONG....so when you say - no bovine dairy...and then you follow that up with nothing unpasteurised...well then dairy my friends is no longer dairy...there is very little non-bovine, pasteurised dairy out there - trust me, I have scanned those shelves like Kit in Knight Rider!! Maybe that is how I can make my millions....
And in between all the manicness you read above, I went out last weekend Saturday with A and K - was great to see them. I ended up spontaneously with them at the Slug in Wimbledon. I peered around each corner carefully, I did not want to see my friend who has disowned me (see post a few weeks back)...this is their haunt. But phew - no sightings were made. But I did end up fighting with the lady behind the bar. Well fighting is probably too string a word. I should say 'swopping strong words'! I ordered whisky. Good old Bells whisky (they have little else that works with my delicate palate!)...and both times she insisted she poured from a new bottle, the whisky had a NASTY tequila tinge to it. Now I used to love tequila at school. And uni. I then I was violently ill on tequila in September 1998 and I have never gone back. The smell makes me retch. Well, A and K can vouch for me - it was tequila flavoured whisky...so I had to resort to Green Ambulance's...when in Rome as they say!
And the quote of the night went to two girls in the bathroom...TRES AMUSANT! One says in her best fake British accent...."Oh I cannot use these bathrooms, there is no toilet paper" to which her best Souff-Efrican friend says "dude, don't worry man, there is plenty of bog roll!!!!"...have you ever!
Have a happy last few days of September people...54 working days for me left this year....feck that means lots more random nights of thoughts like tonight...oh well, I can always self-medicate with tequila! Over and out!
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