I am fast approaching my 2 year anniversary in London...two busy, packed, fun-filled homesick-sometimes, funky years. I have lived in two houses, had one job and made many friends. But as I was sitting here today typing up some things on my computer I found myself laughing out loud at some of the things I have needed to 'learn' to do since I have been in London...after all, if I don't do them...they just don't get done! So, in no particular order I thought I would capture them for laughter's sake....
1 - I have had to learn how to clean a toilet. Now don't get me wrong - this is not rocket science. But I have had to learn how to quell my very over-eager gag reflex and James Bond heightened sense of smell...one whiff of anything unappealing and I am tickets! But now - I am a pro...and I even know that the very best way to get limescale out of a toilet bowl is not all these fancy-schmancy cleaners...just half a bottle of vinegar left overnight - VOILA! My middle name is Martha Stewart!!
2 - I give directions like a BOSS these days. Bobs even called me 'TomTom' the other day as I gave him directions down to the number of metres he needed to walk! Because I am observant, I can generally give you pretty good directions and landmarks to guide you too! I am also a font of useless SHIT - like the best train apps and what bus number to use to get places. The irony - when you don't have a car you become a TomTom out of necessity!!!!
3 - I don't just know how to vacuum these days...I actually bloody love doing it too! When I moved into my current house I bought myself a Dysan vacuum cleaner called the Animal! As in - good for vacuuming pet hair! With my long luscious locks that fall out on a daily basis, I would put any malting cat to shame! But let me tell you - my Animal is a legend. It vacuums up stuff you cant even see. I might just have a technology crush here!!! Isn't she beautiful!
4 - I have become an online shopping, bargain hunting afficionado! Anything...I repeat - ANYTHING can be bought on Amazon. I have got Cherolie ordering her flings on there and Vards looking for Sunlight Soap (the big old green bars from Zim days) on there. It is a treasure trove of anything you need. I have a loyalty card for Boots and Sainsburys and if i am prudent, I would say over the course of 2 years I have had savings of at least 100 pounds on points alone. That my friends is worth it! I can find cheap flights, good quality affordable baby grows and books that went out of print in the 60's...I am the Sherlock Holmes of the internet I tell ya!!
5 - I know have the art of layering waxed too! In London the weather is sublime in the minority and fairly average in the majority. When I used to come over here on holiday I used to HATE and LOATHE the fact that you put on layers to walk out the door and then proceeded to spend the remainder of the day putting them on and taking them off again. Well not anymore! I am a champion at layering...and with the fact that I have definitely acclimatised in the 2 years...in one of the coldest winters in a while, I never wore more than 3 layers no matter the weather. Random thing to be pleased about I admit - but the British weather is an all consuming topic I swear!!
6 - I have also made great progress (I have yet to master it) in the art of 'lying in parks'. Doing nothing is not something I am particularly good at...and doing nothing whilst lying down in a park is one of my least favourable pastimes. But I have definitely started to learn how utterly blissful it can be to be still and watch clouds moving through the sky aimlessly. I do still have twinges of boredom - but these can usually be counteracted by my faithful friend Pinot and his sidekick Grigio!
7 - But probably the biggest thing I have learned to do in my two years...pack light and travel fleet of foot. There is NOBODY to help you pick up that case, there is NO car to put your heavy-ass handbag into the boot of and there is no heel to low for the gentle gradient of a walk from the station. I have embraced my trainers (and bought a few more pairs too!) and think NOTHING of wandering into a 5 star establishment straight from the office with my trainers on! Everyone does it! And that is the joy of it - being comfortable yet stylish is so the DONE thing in London - and I love it!
So as I continue my musings on the 'shit I have had to learn to do when I needed to' I am sure there is other stuff that I have learnt too...probably just by osmosis. I know my mind is wider, my prejudice less, my heart bigger, my clutter more minimal (although Bobs doesn't think so!!) and my experiences tenfold to what they were on 27 May 2011 when I took off from OR Tambo. I think I kinda like this whole learning thing! Bye peeps!
P.S. One thing I have yet to learn is how to master not being late...sorry Paul Duncan - still not my forte. B - going to be late for dinner tonight at this rate...sorry!
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