My friends - never in my life did I ever think this would happen to me. Literally a moment in time that if I could have, I would have bottled and kept forever. That moment when the incredulous look on your face let's the person on the receiving end know that they have given you the biggest surprise of them all. That my friends was me. Wednesday 18 July 2012 will forever be etched in my memory...
I had had a very late night the evening before - after all - a girl has to see Madonna once in her life...in Hyde Park. Getting home was a NIGHTMARE journey...why does everything seem to take 3 times as long when you are weary beyond measure. And if I had been hyped beyond words on the awesomeness of the concert things might have been different. But they weren't. And I wasn't. {sidebar for a second - for those of you wondering...Madonna was an average concert...seriously average...definitely seen way better musicians and had way more fun at concerts in my life...sidebar over} Anyway - a 2am bedtime (need to complete my packing for NYC) was followed by a helluva early start to the day (658am train out of my station to be sure to get to Heathrow on time). Leekie needed the keys to my flat whilst I was gone so she met me at the station...and bless her cotton socks...she hid her utter dismay so well - I looked like shitballs and I was tired!
1 hours 35 minutes later I pulled into T5 at Heathrow with my heavy case and my pre-booked seat. Picked up boarding pass, did baggage drop, moseyed through customs, got fast tracked through security (the perks of business class sometimes...) and got myself into the BA lounge for some RnR (after a few sneaky duty free purchases). Now understand peeps - I am the grumpiest MOFO but this stage. Tired, concerned about the busyness of the following week and needing to get myself across the Atlantic in one piece. Needless to say - when I made it to the boarding gate I could not WAIT to put my head on my pillow and doodoo! Tired 101! So imagine my surprise when I get to the gate (in the fast track queue again nogal...) and the BA lady, without saying a word to me, tears up my boarding pass in front of me. Tears.it.up. Pieces flutter to the floor. I cannot believe what I am seeing and so I get my grump on (because so often BA will move my blasted seat without checking with me and I get pieved...I am a particular flyer and I need to be in the vicinity of a bathroom forthwith in case any bits don't agree with flying...) With a grumpy edge in my voice (and doing my BEST to be polite) I say quizzically...'sorry - have I been moved'. To which I get 'yes ma'am, you have' and a new boarding pass is provided to me. I do not look at it. I just look at the lady with irritation and say 'why?' to which the earth shattering words are provided like music to my ears...'because you have been upgraded to first class ma'am - seat 1F'. I stare at her like a bullfighter stares down a bull...my brain computes...and then I hear the biggest, most hilarious laughter coming from behind me....the lady in the queue after me is convulsing...doubled-over with laughter. Tears rolling down her cheeks...she is A.M.U.S.E.D.!!! And by this stage I look across at the BA lady and offer up the only pearls of wisdom close at hand in that split second 'oh, ok, thanks. I am going to hotfoot it before you change you mind!'. SERIOUSLY. This is the best I could do in that moment. The 'small-town-girl' had just arrived and she had no fekkin clue what to say!
Needless to say - my saunter down the tunnel to the aircraft took on a new perspective...in my flip flops and shorts with my morning hair...me...I was going to occupy seat 1 F (for fekkin fantastic first!!!) for the next 7 hours. I smiled elatedly.
And let me tell you friends - from the minute you leave that boarding gate and make your way down that tunnel, the world just steps aside from you. It is like you are a tagged rhino in Hwange National Park...an invisible radio signal sounds and the world comes running! Personally escorted to my seat by my own air hostess. And this seat was amazing (I so wish I could have taken a photo at this point - but I was trying desperately to keep my dignity intact and look like I 'belonged' in first class). Do not think that First Class is like business class. It just isn't. I have had the fortune of travelling both to NYC now and let me tell you - pimp your ride, sell your body, do whatever it takes to get yourself into First Class once in your life...it was supercalifragalisticexpealidocious.
From the pyjamas you are given to climb into, the soft silly slippers, the Anya Hindmarch toiletry bag and the individual iPad's with movies and games, B&O headphones, Johnny Walker Blue on tap and your own personal meal choice complete with a time you would like for it to be ready. Molten Brown in the toilets, Vogue in the reading panel and two cheese soufflé as a starter....fan my brow! The hugest seat I have ever sat in on a plane...and it really does go 100% flat, my duck feather duvet and my own personally made bed. Chocolate chilli chilled fondant with caramel centre, Britain's finest beef, instant service from the duty free (even though there is not one in your vicinity - heavens that would disturb the peace). In first class, I was able to watch my movie until it was finished...which was when the seatbelt signs had already come on for the crew...none of this '30-minutes-before-you-land' nonsense! It was sublime, amazing, an experience of a lifetime and hell I kinda wish it would happen to me again sometime. First off the planes too (although you loose the advantage when you have to get into the democratic American queues with hundreds of others...) I can totally see why people travel first class - the sense of sublime calmness that envelopes you during the flight and after is just incomprehensible. It stayed with me the whole day. I landed rested, well-fed, happy and smily...and the grump was left in seat 11J where I had originally been booked!
So friends - if you only do it once in your life...do it - if only to see how the other 5% live...it is SO worth it and would have been even more fun if I had had someone to share it with...next time!
Over and out (from the comfort of my bed!!) x
I had had a very late night the evening before - after all - a girl has to see Madonna once in her life...in Hyde Park. Getting home was a NIGHTMARE journey...why does everything seem to take 3 times as long when you are weary beyond measure. And if I had been hyped beyond words on the awesomeness of the concert things might have been different. But they weren't. And I wasn't. {sidebar for a second - for those of you wondering...Madonna was an average concert...seriously average...definitely seen way better musicians and had way more fun at concerts in my life...sidebar over} Anyway - a 2am bedtime (need to complete my packing for NYC) was followed by a helluva early start to the day (658am train out of my station to be sure to get to Heathrow on time). Leekie needed the keys to my flat whilst I was gone so she met me at the station...and bless her cotton socks...she hid her utter dismay so well - I looked like shitballs and I was tired!
1 hours 35 minutes later I pulled into T5 at Heathrow with my heavy case and my pre-booked seat. Picked up boarding pass, did baggage drop, moseyed through customs, got fast tracked through security (the perks of business class sometimes...) and got myself into the BA lounge for some RnR (after a few sneaky duty free purchases). Now understand peeps - I am the grumpiest MOFO but this stage. Tired, concerned about the busyness of the following week and needing to get myself across the Atlantic in one piece. Needless to say - when I made it to the boarding gate I could not WAIT to put my head on my pillow and doodoo! Tired 101! So imagine my surprise when I get to the gate (in the fast track queue again nogal...) and the BA lady, without saying a word to me, tears up my boarding pass in front of me. Tears.it.up. Pieces flutter to the floor. I cannot believe what I am seeing and so I get my grump on (because so often BA will move my blasted seat without checking with me and I get pieved...I am a particular flyer and I need to be in the vicinity of a bathroom forthwith in case any bits don't agree with flying...) With a grumpy edge in my voice (and doing my BEST to be polite) I say quizzically...'sorry - have I been moved'. To which I get 'yes ma'am, you have' and a new boarding pass is provided to me. I do not look at it. I just look at the lady with irritation and say 'why?' to which the earth shattering words are provided like music to my ears...'because you have been upgraded to first class ma'am - seat 1F'. I stare at her like a bullfighter stares down a bull...my brain computes...and then I hear the biggest, most hilarious laughter coming from behind me....the lady in the queue after me is convulsing...doubled-over with laughter. Tears rolling down her cheeks...she is A.M.U.S.E.D.!!! And by this stage I look across at the BA lady and offer up the only pearls of wisdom close at hand in that split second 'oh, ok, thanks. I am going to hotfoot it before you change you mind!'. SERIOUSLY. This is the best I could do in that moment. The 'small-town-girl' had just arrived and she had no fekkin clue what to say!
Needless to say - my saunter down the tunnel to the aircraft took on a new perspective...in my flip flops and shorts with my morning hair...me...I was going to occupy seat 1 F (for fekkin fantastic first!!!) for the next 7 hours. I smiled elatedly.
And let me tell you friends - from the minute you leave that boarding gate and make your way down that tunnel, the world just steps aside from you. It is like you are a tagged rhino in Hwange National Park...an invisible radio signal sounds and the world comes running! Personally escorted to my seat by my own air hostess. And this seat was amazing (I so wish I could have taken a photo at this point - but I was trying desperately to keep my dignity intact and look like I 'belonged' in first class). Do not think that First Class is like business class. It just isn't. I have had the fortune of travelling both to NYC now and let me tell you - pimp your ride, sell your body, do whatever it takes to get yourself into First Class once in your life...it was supercalifragalisticexpealidocious.
From the pyjamas you are given to climb into, the soft silly slippers, the Anya Hindmarch toiletry bag and the individual iPad's with movies and games, B&O headphones, Johnny Walker Blue on tap and your own personal meal choice complete with a time you would like for it to be ready. Molten Brown in the toilets, Vogue in the reading panel and two cheese soufflé as a starter....fan my brow! The hugest seat I have ever sat in on a plane...and it really does go 100% flat, my duck feather duvet and my own personally made bed. Chocolate chilli chilled fondant with caramel centre, Britain's finest beef, instant service from the duty free (even though there is not one in your vicinity - heavens that would disturb the peace). In first class, I was able to watch my movie until it was finished...which was when the seatbelt signs had already come on for the crew...none of this '30-minutes-before-you-land' nonsense! It was sublime, amazing, an experience of a lifetime and hell I kinda wish it would happen to me again sometime. First off the planes too (although you loose the advantage when you have to get into the democratic American queues with hundreds of others...) I can totally see why people travel first class - the sense of sublime calmness that envelopes you during the flight and after is just incomprehensible. It stayed with me the whole day. I landed rested, well-fed, happy and smily...and the grump was left in seat 11J where I had originally been booked!
So friends - if you only do it once in your life...do it - if only to see how the other 5% live...it is SO worth it and would have been even more fun if I had had someone to share it with...next time!
Over and out (from the comfort of my bed!!) x
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